It takes a village to raise a child

I have been pondering about many things, especially the need and importance of a strong community. I don’t think it can be like the olden days where everyone knew everyone’s business and extended families lived together or close by. Community cohesion need not to be location bound thanks to technology. A community can be your family (probably dotted across the world), your friends, other mums/dads from your children’s school, your neighbours, your fellow allotment keeper, your librarians, your church members… you get the idea.

I have been inspired to be more open, challenged in showing practical love and encourage in accepting help. The experience I’ve had of community has been from my fellow church members. I have become friends not because we have similar beliefs but because they saw my vulnerabilities and stood in the gap. For example, when our heating was down for the weekend because of the snow, one of my church members drove in the snow and gave us their electric heaters… I can’t explain to you what that meant for us. I have had help with the kids, food, valuable information and I have experience love in practical ways.

I am not saying to ditch your responsibility as a parent, but to be receptive of the love and care around you. That does not negate the need to be cautious and take safety measures when it comes to yourself and your children. What I am saying is that your child can have a richer childhood when a village helps to raise them! Grandparents will teach them things or show them love that is unique and that only they can show.

Uncles and aunties are cool and may make them laugh and show them new tricks and skills that maybe you are too tired or busy to do. Don’t feel guilty, embrace the opportunities and accept that you can’t do it all. I sure am learning to.

My experience has enabled me view other people’s children as my own. I did before, but I was very wary not to butt into people’s business. Now, I will definitely butt in with respectful boundaries. I will not watch a child misbehave and not say something. I will offer help when I sense the need and not always wait to be asked. Guys, I have been inspired by my church community, home ed community (both physical and social media) and by my family.

It is easy to become over protective when it comes to our children. I understand because there is a lot that they need protecting from, however, over doing it might cause them more harm than good. We need to learn to let go a little bit at a time. I don’t know about you, but I would like to raise independent children. This may sound a bit cliché and contradicting because I home educate my children but trust me when I say that I am not clingy, and neither are they.

It is not easy to let go, but it benefits both you and the child. Let go a little, allow other people to help you enrich your child’s life which might help you enrich your life too. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below, do let me know what you think and don’t forget to get my free eBook. Subscribe to my newsletter that way you get an email as soon as I upload a new blog. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook.

Comments (3)

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    Ebony Laleye

    “I will not watch a child who misbehaves and say nothing” 😂😂
    I so agree


    • Avatar

      Loveth Okoli

      I’m sure many can relate. We have to look out for each other!


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    I always believed in community, friends and family in raising my kids. Recently I visited my adopted sis and best friend with the kids. My son learnt to set the dining table from her in one day . I have tried teaching him at home but I could not get him to do it.
    I missed your blog, welcome back.


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