Are we pretentious?

I’m going there, and I’m definitely guilty of some of these things. This might be a cultural thing but are we pretentious though? Yes, and yes, some people make me wonder if we are all pretending. I am going to sound very judgemental here, I just can’t help it. For many years, I couldn’t be 100 percent with some people in of my social circles, I was just physically present, not engaged at all. The reason was because these people only celebrated achievements that was solely based on intellect, creativity was not really celebrated, just academic achievements. At the time, it felt unachievable to me. so, I was a quiet observer.

You have to look a certain way. You are noticed when you have something to offer, or when your presentation looks expensive. You hear things like ‘dress how you want to be addressed’, ‘it’s all about packaging’, ‘fake it until you make it’. What happens when you fake it until you’re in overwhelming debt, what happens when you are addressed, and you are clueless, what happens when the package is open and looks nothing like it’s presentation. We need to be more authentic!

I understand the idea behind it, but somehow, we’ve managed to turn it into something negative. I say, be real, honest and always willing to learn. Instead of always trying to prove something to other people, do what works for you and your future. Just don’t think short term, thinks 6 months to 5 years ahead. I believe that I am in a place where I can simply say yes please or no thank you, rather than feeling the need to prove something or impress someone.

If you read my blogs, you’ll know that I am all about building quality memories and having amazing experiences rather than having shiny things. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with shiny things, we just have to make sure we have our priorities right.

I am out here trying to be someone who has integrity, I have met many amazing women who have integrity, they know who they are and are definitely not swayed by what they see. When I look closer to see why that is, it becomes clear… they know who they are and what is important. I admire and celebrate that quality because it is becoming rare in this social media age.

I say I was guilty of this because I was constantly in environment were weakness can’t be shown. Until I had my children, most of the people in my previous church didn’t know I had health issues and I was with them for 9 years! It took me leaving, going to another place where the people were open, authentic and honest. Initially, I thought they were weird, but with time I felt safe enough to share my vulnerabilities and that was so liberating. I am saying, let us become more authentic. Put down some of those walls and let people see you!

As usual, let me know what you think in the comments section and don’t forget to get my free eBook. Subscribe to my newsletter that way you get an email as soon as I upload a new blog. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook.

Comments (4)

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    Ebony Laleye

    You are so right about bringing down the walls,it can be hard in the society we live in. But I think the older I get ,I find it easier living in my truth and just bein my self,not feeling under pressure from society. I love your blog. You always make one think.

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      Loveth Okoli

      Hi Ebony, I love that “living in my truth”. This is so important for self preservation. Thanks for your support.

      Reply

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    Bwalya Uwagboe

    Liked the message and could have delve deeper. I was just getting into it when it ended. I agree there is a misrepresentation with self presentation, authenticity and confidence. I also agree that evolution of the individual self rectified most of these misconceptions be it in the form of parenthood, marriage or just good old maturity. Great job and keep going. X

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      Loveth Okoli

      Hi Bwalya, I’m glad that you like the message. This platform allows us to discuss and share our thoughts. I appreciate your contribution.

      Reply

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