Lessons I learnt from men

I have been married to a man for nearly 9 years, I have 2 older brothers and I have a lot of male friends. To be honest, I get on with men more than women. I love being a woman, but I am that girl that will chill and chat with the guys instead of cooking and serving in the kitchen. I really admire women who do that, it is amazing and seems exhausting. Whenever I am hosting anything, I make sure everything is prepared, cooked and ready to serve (help yourself). I want to be part of the action; discussion and I want to laugh at the jokes.

I am caring but I don’t think I am very motherly; more friendly than motherly. If you are familiar with the bible story of Mary and Martha, I am so Mary. Sitting and listening to Jesus while Martha was serving and making sure everyone was well looked after. Here are some of the things I learnt from men that I have adopted:

Stop and chill- the art of switching off is just beautiful. it is so difficult to do, but sometimes it is needed. There are some things to be done around the house, but some men are still able to ignore it, put up their feet and chill. Instead of getting worked up about it, put the kettle on, make us a cuppa (tea and coffee) and chill next to him. Personally, I don’t have the energy to be angry and clean up alone. When we are both done chilling, sometimes you might find that we have recharged (from chilling) and can tidy together or it just wait till the next day.

Spoil yourself- I didn’t want to use the word selfish, but it’s close enough. The other word that came to mind was egocentric but is has such a negative connotation, but men make it look good. They splurge out on their toys and gadgets, but as nurturers, some of us women deprive ourselves and we constantly put others first, manage or completely go without. Sometimes, we might have to do this for a season, but it should not be always. I am learning to splurge out on myself (it might be in getting some me-time or buying that thing you need), this is difficult for a girl who isn’t materialistic, however, I love creating memories through quality experiences. This usually involves the whole family, so whatever I do, everyone usually benefits. That is always a good thing. Don’t deprive yourself of that spa day that you have always wanted, be intentional about it, save your money and go.

Work hard- I am talking about real men not grown boys who look like men. Men who truly understand that they have responsibilities and work hard and smart to meet them. The lessons I have learnt are not all easy, being a man is hard work, it is thinking about the future for the family, not only for the far future but it can be for the next few months. They think about the safety of their family, providing for them and doing the dirty work even if they don’t want to. I work hard for my family and I have nothing but respect for men who understand their role and fulfil it.

Play- I am learning the importance of play for adult. Yes, men generally play more than women. Some of us are usually to busy to make time for play. They find time to play, hang out with their friends, use their gadgets, play with their kids, their wives, go to the movies, football/ basketball, reading etc In contrast, we women, clean, cook, teach, nurse, talk about deep stuff (all the time) instead of goofing and laughing, we worry about the bill and time. You know what I am talking about. As usual, do let me know what you think and don’t forget to get my free eBook. Subscribe to my newsletter that way you get an email as soon as I upload a new blog. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook.

Comments (4)

  • Avatar

    Ebony laleye

    You are so right,I do not splurge on my self,always thinking about the family,bills etc.
    It is good once in a while to splurge on your self,and not worry about bills etc….

    Reply

    • Avatar

      Loveth Okoli

      Hi Ebony, we always put out families first. It is time we remember that we are worth a splurge and we need to stop and chill once a while. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

      Reply

  • Avatar

    Gladys

    I love and enjoy reading this blog. I honestly can relate to all you said. As a wife and a mother I have enslaved my world around my family. I found as years go by there is not enough me time’ in my life. Your blog is like a’light bulb moment’ for me to create my own ‘me time’.

    Reply

    • Avatar

      Loveth Okoli

      Hi, Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment and I am glad that you enjoy my blog.

      Reply

Leave a comment