What do Women Want?

Someone recently said to me, women don’t know what they want. I replied straight away some women don’t know what they want. I know what I want, and I am not shy to express it. I also try to have realistic expectations of myself and others. I honestly don’t believe you can have it all, don’t bite my head off. I know this is controversial, but it is my stance. When I say I don’t believe you can have it all, I mean having a high-flying career, a great relationship with your spouse, fantastic relationship with your kids, great relationship with friends and an overall good home/work balance. Something’s got to give. I can only see it working if you have an amazing family support such grandparents, aunties and uncles all helping. It takes a community to make it work. If you have this be very thankful, currently, most people live far away from friends and their extended family.  We (speaking collectively) generally tend to do our own thing and are careful not to impose on friends and as a result, we live more and more isolated.

I am so happy that my family relocated because we are now closer to our extended family and we are making new friends. I digress, let’s talk about what women want. First let me say I love being a woman, an independent woman. Being married never changed that. We women desire a lot, but I will address 3 key things we want.

We want respect- Love will grow where there is respect. Mutual respect creates the right environment for admiration and that can grow into love. People loving me is not my priority. Love can be fickle, and I am not sure that everyone really understands its true meaning and the word itself has been abused. Respect on the other hand is amazing, it creates room for a level of trust and reduces the chance of abuse. We women want respect.

We want commitment- Actions speaks louder that words, don’t tell me, show me. Regardless of our roller coaster emotions, we want someone who will stand, someone who will not sway, someone solid and someone present. Not just physically but holistically. Women want someone who is in it for the long haul and is ready for the responsibility that comes with life.

We want support- As women, sometimes we prepare ourselves to do it all and most of the time we do. Support gives us relief, support says I care for you, support means consideration. Women are strong beings, and we are increasingly growing more independent. So, if we are in a relationship with you, that means it was an invitation that we want to share our lives with you. It is a giving not taking, it is saying, I don’t need you, but I want you. And that is a beautiful thing. If you are privileged enough to be invited to share a life with an amazing woman, the least you can do is support.

 

Women are unique creatures. Everyone pay attention (especially men), anyone that wants a relationship with us needs to get ready, we don’t want immaturity, lack of commitment, consumers or a dictator, we want decision makers, listeners, leaders, creators, supporters because that is who we are as well. Of course, I don’t speak for all women, I just want you to know that we are more than bums and breasts. We are innovative, creative, proactive and intuitive. The next time you see a woman, remember she is a survivor and simply amazing. I’m certain that you know a woman or women that are pillars, dreamers and dream makers.

I made a very conscious decision to be a stay at home mum instead of pursuing my career, if I had chosen my career I know where I would have been. I made a choice that suits me and my family. I have experienced trying to balance work, study and family life. At the time I went to work part time, the children were at school and I was juggling it all. It lasted 8 months and I came to the realisation that it was not sustainable. This was my experience, as a result I came to the conclusion that you simply can’t have it all. Feel free to tell me what you think and your experience in the comment below.

As always, don’t forget to get my free eBook. Subscribe to my newsletter that way you get an email as soon as I upload a new blog. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook. Share this post if you agree.

Comments (8)

  • Avatar

    Ebony laleye

    Bum and breast 😂 so funny. Do you believe a woman can have a bussiness (her own thing) and still have it all.
    I would love to know your opinion?

    Reply

    • Avatar

      Loveth Okoli

      Hi Ebony, thanks for reading my blog. For a woman to have all, it take the support of a village (community, families and friends). This is my opinion. I glad you found the post funny.

      Reply

  • Avatar

    Rowena

    Great post you are so on point love your write up

    Reply

    • Avatar

      Loveth Okoli

      Hi Rowena, thanks for reading and I appreciate your support.

      Reply

  • Avatar

    Loveth

    Wow beautiful loveth, u r right we cannot have it all.

    Reply

    • Avatar

      Loveth Okoli

      Thanks for reading, I appreciate your time and support.

      Reply

  • Avatar

    Gladys

    I agreed with you on family support.
    In my line of work, I always ask clients, ‘do you have a support network ‘. Family and friends regardless of individual differences are vital in our lives. Especially when we are raising kids and getting older.

    Marriage changes your world as a woman. It can make or break you. You explained it all in your blog After 1 2 years of marriage, I feel not listen to sometimesas as I am constantly reminded that in my Africa culture, ‘women must respect men and never raise your voice when dying to say to the alpha man in your life “listen and respect my views ”
    Marriage for me as a woman is about respect and my other half valuing my worth in the relationship.

    Reply

    • Avatar

      Loveth Okoli

      Wow, thanks for commenting. I agree that having a support network makes a huge difference. Also you highlighted the importance of knowing your worth, this is vital especially before you enter any relationship.

      Reply

Leave a comment