I Have High Expectations – Yes, I Am That Mom
I know that I am a good mom, although some might even call me ‘helicopter mom’. These days, there are different types of parenting styles and most want to fit in the cool and trendy category. If you were already like that, then that’s fine. I just don’t to want to feel like moms are pressured to come across a certain way in order to fit in. No one should feel pressured by society or anyone else to raise their children a certain way.
As an African (Nigerian) mom, I adopted having high expectations of my children. High expectations can be a good thing but they should not be unrealistic. It’s a beautiful thing to really believe in your child and support them all the way.
Sometimes, that support might look encouraging and other times, it might be demanding. For example, I met a 15-year-old who said to her mum, “I wish you had made me carry on with ballet, I miss it”. The mum replied, “You wanted to stop so we did”. The girl replied, “You should have said no”.
That was interesting and insightful for me, as we started off talking about my little girl doing ballet. In fact, I keep asking my daughter if she wants to stop ballet as I feel that she doesn’t learn that much. I also don’t see her practising at home. To me, it seems as though she is not passionate about it but my daughter refuses to give it up as she says she likes ballet.
The lesson I learnt from the 15-year-old is that kids don’t always know what they want, and they can sometimes get lazy like adults do. Therefore, we have to be that mum or dad that makes them go to practice and get on with it. In the long run, they will thank us. Supporting your children doesn’t always look pretty and fluffy; it can be difficult and dirty.
I am raising my children to work hard and grow smarter. They see their mum and dad working to ensure that the family is comfortable, so they see us do what we expect of them. We try walking the walk and not just talking the talk so that we can lead by example.