How to Become a Stay at Home Mum

“What do you do?’ or “Oh, you don’t work?” are the type questions I get asked often, but they don’t annoy me. What does annoy me is the way that they are said; the obvious undertone of judgement. When it’s said out of curiosity, I am more than happy to talk and share with people what I do, but when it said out of judgement, I give a yes or no answer. I don’t have to explain anything to anyone. When someone is judging me, I can tell that they’ve already established a preconceived perception of me and what I say won’t change that. You can tell when people are genuinely curious or inquisitive, and you can tell when they think that you are a lazy housewife. And with that in mind, I don’t like the term ‘housewife’ because it doesn’t encapsulate what you do or who you are.

I am first a young lady, and the term “housewife” makes me sound old and lazy. As well as being a young lady, I am a wife, mother, a cook, a cleaner, an educator, an entrepreneur, a driver, a mentor and many other fantastic things. I am a proud stay at home mum and would not have it any other way. I have tried the whole working part-time thing, and it didn’t work out. Yes, the money was great, but most of it went on takeaways, fuel, breakfast and after-school club. My stress level was off the roof and I had little time for my family and life. This was my personal experience; some mothers and fathers do an amazing job balancing work and family life (I respect you). I wasn’t that person and was honest with myself. I knew that I couldn’t sustain that lifestyle. It would have eventually cost me something that I value more than money, like my relationship with my husband, my children or my health.

It is a decision

I do realise that I am blessed and fortunate that we can live on one income, it wasn’t always easy and still isn’t sometimes, but it was a decision we made when we had twins.

You must look at your financial income

We sat down and did the numbers for me returning to work and it didn’t add up. We also like the idea of me staying with the children for as long as possible. There are different family dynamics and I understand that. I was raised by a single mother and know that sometimes our options can be limited.

You need to have a realistic budget

It’s always important to sit down and look at your financial income and expenditures and what options you have. In our case, we had to drastically cut down our expenditure to allow me to stay home with the kids. Sacrifices sometimes have to be made. In conclusion, regardless of the situation you find yourself, always realise that mums and dads are always doing what they feel is best for their family and that they are their own biggest critic. So, let’s encourage and support each other, and respect people’s decisions, even if you don’t understand it.

Comments (6)

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    Gladys

    This article described me when I made a decison to resign from my then 9 to 5 job to be a stay-at-home mum. My kids were 2 and 4 years old then. It was a joint decision with my husband. Our two kids are the centre of our world. Childcare was too expensive . It is amazing how people seem to judge you as a stay- at- home mum and have opinions on what you should be doing . When I married my husband and had my kids, I cannot remember asking for people opinions or the government input.
    I took the opportunity to study part time and today I am a qualified Counsellor, and hopefully set up my own practice and work around my kids. They are now 10 and 12 years old.. I have enjoyed every quality time spent with my kids.

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      Loveth Okoli

      Well done on becoming a counsellor!!! I agree, childcare can be very expensive and having twins made that double for our family. Every family should do what is best for their household. It’s a blessing when you find something flexible that allows you to work around your children. Thanks for your contribution.

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    Ebony laleye

    A stay at home mum does so much, the fact that you have added home schooling to all you do. Is amazing.

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      Loveth Okoli

      Stay at home mums are simply amazing. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you found the information useful in one way or another.

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    Anthonia

    Amazing… I Believe no one can ever take care of your kids like you. No Matter the amount paid to Child-minders.
    I often say to some of my friends to Stick to what works for them and their Family regardless of what people say or how they are perceived. Although money is good. But Life , Time is more than money…

    More grace Girl x x

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      Loveth Okoli

      You are right, we sometimes worry too much of what others think of us. Do what works for your family because time is precious. Thanks for sharing.

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